We live in a world where perfection is everything. Perfect performance, perfect movie, perfect service, perfect piece of writing and the list goes on. We constantly dream and strive for a flawless world.
In our hearts we know such a thing does not exist.
Some people are perfectionists. These people have an ideal of life that is very high standard and beyond achievable. But these kind of people suffer the most. Why? Because they put a lot of pressure on themselves and they set goals that are bigger than what they are able to achieve. Their main preoccupation is to strive for success, recognition and to avoid mistakes.
Success is a good thing and can be attainable by being a high-achiever rather than expecting a perfect picture of life.
When we think about perfectionism, we see it as simply a regular thing that people go through everyday. But what no one knows is that it can have serious consequences in someone's life, your life.
Did you know that perfectionism can create anorexia? Did you know that perfectionism can hinder someone's relationships, your relationships? Did you know that shockingly it can become a deadly obsession? When it becomes such an obsession, some people commit suicide because they simply can't get to that "perfect life".
The entertainment business puts a lot of emphasis on perfection.
Some of these perfectionists are very successful people, even celebrities like Maryl Streep, Michael Jackson, Jane Fonda, Portia di Rossi and many more who suffer from this. The ones who seem to suffer the most from this are people who work in the entertainment business, actors, actresses, singers, dancers and the ones who work beyond the scenes.
Perfectionism imprisons you. You constantly feel like a fraud and you leave with the fear that one day you will be caught and lose all the success you worked so hard to achieve. You are also afraid to fail. You think how much can I resist doing what I do and keep this high performance level. This in turn makes you feel stressed up, anxious and even exhausted all the time.
You are never satisfied with what you achieve because you never feel "good enough". Your work is never "good enough", your work is never perfect and flawless as it should be, as others expect it to be.
You constantly chase success because you feel empty inside. Success validates you, success is essential to who you are and unless you have it nothing else in the world matters. Success is more important than family, friends, even taking care of yourself.
Even if people tell you how great you are, what a wonderful job you did, you are happy for a while and then you feel again that you are not "good enough". Then you begin your wild crazy marathon chase for success again, for perfection. You never stop, never rest until you will achieve it.
This chase is your daily reality. But here is what happens, when you are so tough on yourself, you are also very tough on other people around you because the voice inside of you never stops. Then you wonder why your relationships don't work.
Sometimes you want to change, but you don't know where to start. Perfectionism imprisons you in a chain of negative critical self-talk with goals and expectations that are very difficult to achieve.
Did you know that perfectionism is a phobia? It is the phobia of making mistakes.
The greatest fear that paralyses the perfectionist is to make mistakes. Mistakes are wrong, dangerous, life threatening. Mistakes are the perfectionists enemy. Sometimes can mean the end of the world for a perfectionist.
So now you probably recognize yourself and now you are aware how imprisoning it can be. Pink and Simple Plan have even published a song about perfectionism which can be viewed on you tube. Especially Pink's song illustrates exactly what I am talking about.
Now that you are aware and you are familiar of what it does to you, it is time to discuss some solutions that can help you overcome perfectionism and be softer with yourself.
1) Remember that the greatest success comes from failure. "Failure" is a life lesson and a way to grow as a person. Failure is a teacher, a very valuable teacher who can show you how great you are. So view failure as an opportunity to gain more success. The most successful people have endured many failures that have led them to be so successful.
2) Success comes when you stop chasing it. What the perfectionist does is focus on results rather than the process of getting there. In order to be softer with yourself, enjoy the process which is far more important than the results themselves. When you do that, the results come much more easily and quickly than you thought. I bet you are going to ask yourself why you had to stress yourself so much.
3) Strive for excellence rather than perfection. By being a high-achiever and seeing mistakes as opportunities, you will succeed stress-free. Don't forget to pat yourself on the shoulder from time to time when you do something right.
4) Write a list of all your accomplishments, small ones rather than big ones and hang them on your wall so you can look at them everyday. This will remind you on how much good things you are doing everyday rather than focusing on all the negative things and mistakes you did. By doing this you will train your mind to see the good things you are doing and diminish the negative self-talk you often hear in your mind.
5) When something is not as perfect as you wanted or you catch yourself being tough on yourself, remember that you can always start over and that you always get a second chance in this life. There are always solutions, you only have to open your mind and use your creativity. Believe it or not, my best work is the most imperfect one of all. This is the work I have most success with.
6) Mistakes are opportunities for more success. One day, One of my coaches told me the following: When you make a mistake ask yourself the following question: What will you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Fill in the blanks with whatever comes to mind. By doing this you will discover how many things you have the potential of doing.
So the next time you feel that you are less than perfect remember that you are better than you think and better than you are willing to see in yourself at this moment and try to find a thought that will make you feel softer with yourself. The road to success does not have to be perfect all the way and it doesn't have to be strenuous. There will always be bumps along the way as well as unexpected situations. Your job is to learn how to deal with them. These experiences make you wiser in the book of life.
Success can be effortless and enjoyable and easily attainable if you adopt a more beneficial softer attitude and frame of mind. It is more important to focus on your small daily achievements and daily steps rather than looking at the big picture and giving yourself too high standards that only end up frustrating you.
The most successful people in this world are those who are fearless of making mistakes. They take risks to get where they are today. Another thing they do is take small actions and steps and enjoy the process rather than the results. How many times have we heard famous people say that they never planned their big success, it just unfolded into their life. Really this is how it is. The most unexpected things in this life are the most rewarding surprising experiences that we can ever live and many successes come to life believe or not from mistakes.
Stop the suffering now and start living again now!
Galit Lazar is an Entertainment Industry coach, a published author. The entertainment business is very focused on perfection which can hinder actresses' self-confidence and self-esteem. Galit helps actresses be and feel successful in the industry by helping them love who they are.
Galit has also recently been featured in the book: Speaking Your Truth, Courageous Stories from Inspiring Women. Her chapter is called: The Journey to Your Inner Light House. The book can be purchased on Amazon.com
Galit has also been nominated "editors choice" on Blogville. Her Blog: http://www.galitscampcoaching.blogspot.com/
Do you want to be more successful in the entertainment Industry stress free? Galit can help you become successful by becoming a high achiever. Contact her for a free introductory session where you can discuss effective ways to be and feel more successful stress free. Find contact information in the site address below.
To find more information about Galit's C.A.M.P. Coaching or to schedule a free Introduction session visit her site: http://galitscampcoaching.com/ for more information.
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