Your child's grades and performance in school is one of the most important things in their life right now. The better their grades are the more prepared they'll be for life... or will they. In the grand scheme of things grades are only a small part of the total picture. Research suggests that it's less important 'what' grades a child receives as opposed to 'how' they approach learning and achievements. Focusing on success and perfect test scores can actually make your child less successful in the long run.
When getting the right answer every time is the most important thing in your eyes a child becomes fearful to make a mistake. This is not to say laziness or poor study habits should be condoned. Instead a new focus on what learning actually is and a new approach to success is needed. If your child wants to approach a problem in a way that doesn't seem "right" or the "regular" way let them explore that possibility and learn through trial and error.
Currently our schools focus on convergent thinking to teach children. Convergent thinking is the idea that there is one correct way to find an answer. When teaching difficult subjects teachers prescribe a method to find the answer. Exploration and experimentation can't be tolerated in this setting because of time constraints. The end result is a group of students that are taught what to think and not how to think. Children are punished for failure or trying new methods.
Juxtaposition to convergent thinking is divergent thinking. Divergent thinking is the idea that there are many possible ways to solve a problem. With divergent thinking the possibility of multiple solutions is common and acceptable. The problem with divergent thinking is that a school cannot test student very easily and teaching is far less efficient (under the scope of the current model). The truth is real life problems cannot be wrapped up in cute canned solutions learned in school. The data and skills needed to succeed in life are diverse and complicated. The current model of teaching success is flawed and out of touch with reality.
In order to give your child the best chance of success (not just good grades) follow some of these guidelines.
Focus on growth not achievements. Growth and progress is what ultimately leads to success and achievement. When parents focus on achievement, praise achievement, and reward achievement at the expense of focusing on growth it sets up an imbalanced precedence. The lopsided view of achievement will surely grow with a child as they develop. As a result they will not feel content with only progressing. Progress coupled with failure is ultimately failure. The idea should be reversed. Progress coupled with failure is success! Progress and growth are the most important factors in success. Achievement is short lived and is usually defined by some arbitrary means.
Failure is an option. A child that embraces failure should be rewarded. This is walking a fine line because all types of failure are not the same. Failure due to lack of effort, poor preparation, or being idiotic is not what is meant here. Instead failure in the face of tremendous effort, intelligence, and exploration is among the highest achievements.
Additional Resources: Troubled Youth Programs
Schools for At-Risk Teens, Military Schools.
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