Few things limit and even paralyze people more than fear of criticism. Successful people understand this and they understand how to overcome this fear. Here are some tips on how you can overcome this fear as well and take risks that many are too afraid to take.
Breaking Out of the Ego-Centric Trap
First it is important to remind yourself that other people think more about themselves and their problems then they think about anything else, especially you. We all have the tendency to exaggerate the degree to which others worry themselves about us. Really understanding this and applying it to your own attitudes and feelings about how and where you stand with others is a major step toward placing yourself in proper perspective.
We are inherently ego-centric in nature. Our world revolves around us. We think in terms of how everything and everyone relates to us. We evaluate other people's behaviors based on the assumption that those behaviors are always in some fashion motivated by intent to affect us. It is only when we come to truly understand that this is not true, that we are not the center of other people's universes and the primary motivating factor in their thinking and behavior that we can put our role in other people's minds in a more proper perspective.
Once you have broken free of this ego-centric trap and recognize that other people care far less about you and what you think and do than you think they do you have taken the first big step toward attaining your own independence from the fear of criticism.
Developing an Integrity-Based Self Evaluation Model
The second step toward eliminating this fear is to establish the correct model inside your own thinking to measure yourself against. When people do take an interest in your actions or words and voice a criticism of you rather than taking that criticism at face value you must develop the discipline to analyze that criticism in terms of two things: the likely motivation from the person criticizing you and the degree to which the criticism is aligned with your own values.
You may well find that the person criticizing you is motivated by their own insecurity or an effort to manipulate you or others through the criticism. Be aware that in most cases if this is apparent to you it is likewise apparent to most of the other people around you and therefore the criticism will have little or no negative social effect for you. If others will think no less of you because of this ill-motivated criticism than why should you worry about it?
Second you should seriously evaluate the criticism to see if there is any truth in it. If there is you may well profit from this. It will enable you to re-evaluate your own direction and action and bring it more into alignment with your own concept of what you should be doing, that is your integrity.
If however you find that the criticism is now well founded and that your conduct is aligned with your values and integrity then you have nothing to fear from the criticism and nothing to gain from it.
You must ask yourself if there is any merit to the criticism from others as measured against your own values and expectations of yourself. If there is not, then the criticism is of no value to you and should be dismissed.
Being Your Own Worst Critic
For most of us we are our own worst critic. We spend a lot of time each day being self-critical. While it is worthwhile to look critically at your performance to insure that you are measuring up to the standards you have set for yourself it is not productive to be overly critical of yourself. Bear this in mind as you engage in negative or critical self talk. What you tell yourself about yourself can have more of an impact on your self confidence and esteem than what others say.
Criticism, whether it comes from others or yourself, is not to be feared. If there is merit to the criticism than use that criticism to sharpen your performance. If the criticism lacks merit, as measured against your own valued based standards, then reject it as useless. Do not permit meritless criticism to defeat you by sapping your confidence and motivation. Remember that criticism can be of value only to the extent you can use it to make yourself better. Beyond that it serves no useful purpose and only has the negative power over you that you permit it to have.
Daniel R. Murphy writes on success and how you can build wealth. Would you like to learn how others have been successful in business and in life? For a free success ebook and much information which can help make you successful and financially independent visit http://www.bookstowealth.com/. Begin your self-education today learning how others have become successful and rich! Do it today!
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